Unleash Your Inner-Pimp: Overcoming Shyness
In most cultures, American especially, being considered shy is not a positive trait.
Shyness is seen as a weakness; something that holds people back from displaying their most attractive personality and leading fulfilling relationships, whether personal or professional.
Shyness itself is described by feelings of apprehension, lack of comfort, or awkwardness experienced when a person is approaching/being approached by other people, especially in new situations or with unfamiliar people.
According to respected fashion designer Tom Ford,
“You should put on the best version of yourself when you go out in the world because that is a show of respect to the other people around you.”
Those that are shy walk on eggshells scared, anxious, fearful, worried…this is not a persons’ best and it’s a mediocre way to live life.
Unfortunately, media perpetuates the idea that mediocrity is acceptable. That a man can be shy around women, yet somehow via Disney fairytale magic, he eventually lands the babe…in the end. Really?
I used to believe the television shows and movies. Additionally, I also read the dating advice columns in popular mens magazines on the subject of overcoming shyness to approach women. I thought being shy was fine, just as long as I was “being myself” and “being confident”; then girls would have like me, right? Oh yea, I also memorized the most clever pickup lines thinking that would help too. Thing is, NONE of these resources addressed exactly how to “be myself” and “be confident”, or what it even meant, or how it actually worked.
The real truth?
Shyness is unattractive. Again, it’s a mediocre way to live life because it’s not a persons’ best. Living with shyness is unacceptable if a man wants to successfully approach the beautiful women he’s attracted to. Period.
Yes, I could’ve continued to accept mediocrity and hoped my situation got better. Perhaps I could’ve gotten “lucky”, and waited for the girl of my dreams to magically find me. If this sounds acceptable to you, then please go to the upper right hand corner of this screen and click X. This article is not for you.
The next section reveals how and what I did to remedy my shyness: Unleashing my inner-pimp and transforming from a man overwhelmed by shyness to a man that confidently approaches the women he’s attracted to…
Unleash Your Inner-Pimp: Overcoming Shyness
Do Not Care What Others Think Or Say About You
When you care, you’re reacting to others, seeking approval. You teeter on eggshells, feeling uncomfortable, intimidated, insecure and confused about what to say/do. Be your own person, live your own life. Do what you want, and others do what they can about it.
As an exercise, chant this yourself right now- “I do NOT give a damn…what anyone thinks about me”. Do this as much as you’d like, til you feel a physiological sensation and your voice sparkles a 100% belief that you honestly do not care what ANYONE thinks about you.
You Do Not Need Anyone Else To Make You Feel Good About Yourself
If you’re looking for someone elses’ validation (especially a girls’), then you’re being a bitch. And you will never be attractive; no girl will ever be attracted to a man she feels sorry for. As a man, acknowledge that there is nothing someone can give you that you can’t get for yourself.
You, And ONLY You, Can Control How You Feel About Yourself
Be cognizant how you FEEL in relation to the world around you, not self-conscious. Don’t take yourself or the world too seriously; find humor in everyday life, draw inspiration, cultivate a love for being. Monitor your thoughts and examine the role it plays in constructing the beliefs about yourself. You are what you believe.
Give Yourself PERMISSION To Be The Man You Want To Become
List the traits of the ‘ideal’ man you wish to be. Understand those traits and shift your behavior towards becoming THAT person. Now the blueprint is now there to follow. Think to yourself: How would my ideal self react to a situation? Give yourself permission to act accordingly!
You’re Either Confident Or You’re A Bitch
You cannot be ‘almost confident’ or 99% confident. Confidence, as I understand it, is purely the absence of fear. Nothing is holding you back; no mental obstacles between you and what you want. Notice how a five year old can be just as confident as a corporate CEO; just because they don’t have a care in the world and no mental obstacle holding them back.
Visualize yourself as a boom-box exploding awesome music (self-expression), radiating good vibes and being the life of the party. Speak LOUDER by pushing the air from your stomach outwards, not the air from your throat. Remember too, everything you say is important; it is important because it’s coming from you.
I cannot vouch enough how helpful this was for my own development. By joining Toastmasters, you are forced to speak to a public audience and you will receive honest, encouraging feedback towards sounding/appearing more confident. Click here to find a club near you.
Frequent masturbation is linked to increased social anxiety that detaches men from becoming outgoing, energetic, and having fulfilling interactions. If there’s one destructive habit that destroys the motivation for men to approach women, it’s masturbation..
Join a GYM, develop good posture. The mind follows the body! Enhance your style and have women take notice of you…for the right reasons.
Be proactive. Be a man and take charge. You + Taking Action= your best self.
The richer your life is, the more confident you should feel about yourself.
Girls Are Attracted To Confidence
For a woman, a highly confident man (regardless of looks, money, status) is the equivalent of a Sports Illustrated swimsuit model for men.
Simply, Confidence = Attractive.
Let’s be real though. A women isn’t going to pick herself up. It’s a man’s responsibility to approach beautiful women…just don’t let shyness (living in mediocrity) stop you.