The Disappointing Tale of A “John”
I heard about a guy that was so frustrated with his sex life (rather lack of one) that he made the decision to hire a prostitute.
I don’t judge what this person did. He needed to fulfill his sexual desires and get his dick wet, so he paid a hooker.
I’m sure he entertained the thought of paid sex several times before, perhaps browsing through craigslist and escort pages. As he failed to get results with women (get laid) those thoughts must have lingered and intensified over time.
He believed he did everything he possibly could to get laid and nothing seemed to work. Maybe he went out, approached some women, got a few numbers, but nothing come of it…
Then, feeling pitiful about himself for not getting results, desperation overwhelmed him. How was he ever going to jump the hurdle of sexual incompetency? Masturbation can only do so much to relieve his pent-up need for sex.
The easy solution- Get a prostitute.
The “John” will have one hour of the prostitute’s time to get his dick wet and then shower in her faked affection afterwards. When the hour is completed, she’ll be gone and the John will be forced backed into the mediocrity that is his sex life.
I’ve heard this same story many times, unfortunately. Guys that resort to paid sex because they simply don’t know any other way. Thing is, this goes beyond paying for sex. Johns will come in different forms. They can be old rich guys, politicians, frat boys, married men, guys on vacation…but the most disappointing is the guy that’s a John because that’s all he knows.
He has zero confidence that he can meet a woman, arouse her, and then have sex with her. Or he might see particular women as “out of his league”. Whether it’s a sense of entitlement, loneliness, desperation, confusion, sexual frustration- paying for sex communicates several things about a person.
It communicates that the John doesn’t have the disciple, commitment, and belief in himself to be considered a sex-worthy guy.
The disciple o not be pay for easy sex-
Working girls (girls in the sex industry really) don’t have the same sexual barriers to sex like “normal” girls would. They’re more sexual, hornier, and love sex. Some of these women in the sex industry are very affectionate, albeit very crazy as well. They want men that won’t judge them for their occupation, will speak to them about current events, history, and take an interest in them as a person; and someone they see as a demon in bed. Remember, these girls need boyfriends too!
The commitment to get this handled, despite the disappointments-
Sexual promiscuity is at an all-time high, and sex on the first date is a common occurrence according to this NY Post article. Not every girl a guy approaches or takes on a date will be down for sex; but it’s more likely than not if he just makes sexual advances.
The belief that he is an attractive man that women want-
An attractive man inspires emotions of lust with the women he pursues. He speaks confidently, walks with a swagger, and knows sex with a girl is win for her just as much as it is for him.
By seeking a hooker the John chooses to believe that the only possible way he could ever have sex is to pay for it. He’ll never be able to successfully seduce women, he’ll never be good enough to have women chase after him, he’ll never be sex-worthy man; he’ll always be a “John” that had to pay a women to have sex with him. And in his mind, this will be reinforced for a lifetime.
Sex isn’t a big deal. When it becomes a big deal, only then does it cost something.
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Good stuff JT.
Being with prostitutes regularly fuccs up a guy’s frame.
I have an older cousin who’s always going to whose houses to bang prostitutes.
Now when he tries gaming regular chiccs,his calibration is way off since he’s used to the hooker’s flatteries,fake IOI’s and all.
“Real women” have nothing to offer beyond what is between their legs.
Good words JT
well done im now a big fan of your work, what i have seen so far is excellent…hope you keep it up….thanks
Great point SocialKenny to JT’s point. Men feel defeated so they try to cope by hiring a sex worker and then they really loose any skills and confidence they had left. I’ve been helping men get great with women and recover sexless marriages for 14 yrs now and I see the same patterns repeating over and over. Unless men seek out help with becoming empowered as men which includes at its core knowing how to generate not kill attraction with women they will stay stuck and shrinking. Thank you for the thought provoking posts men! I’m thrilled to see men stepping up to this subject with candor and practical solutions to offer.
@Michelle
It is not so much confidence they lose so much as they just don’t care anymore. The reward cycle is disrupted and sex comes far too easy to put up with relationship BS.
It’s even more interesting because my name’s Jonathan
I agree with what you said when you stated, “I don’t judge what this person did. He needed to fulfill his sexual desires and get his dick wet, so he paid a hooker”. So then why do you insist that he must have a problem because he pays for it? And dont tell me that the cure for the John is to go out and deal with todays obese, high maintenance, ball busting, single mom, career first, independant woman? Just beacause he “failed” with women doesn’t mean that he is the problem. Give the guy the benefit of the doubt. We are living in a failed society and everyone knows how fucked up women have become. Unfortunately most men or guys with “game” seem to not know this or they simply try to rationalize dealing with todays woman and they end up paying the highest cost of all, their manhood. Honestly, everyone pays for it in one way or another, its just that people lie to themselves thinking that they don’t. Unless random, beautiful women automatically show up at your house everyday it will always cost to facilitate meeting women. As for the John who only knows banging prostitutes and nothing else I’m willing to bet he will be perfectly happy about it and just go about his daily business.
p.s. On a side note what do you think about women who pay men for sex.
I was just thinking about club promoters and how the nightlife objectifies women as a sort of currency. I can agree that everyone pays for it one way or the other, whether monetarily or emotionally.
What’s a shame though is paying for sex out of desperation and loneliness; think about the guy at a strip club that wastes all his time and money there…it’s sad.
With men that can afford to pay for hot young pussy on demand because that’s what they want, they’ll never truly experience the beauty of a woman’s true affection…it’s sad.
Again, there are no judgments.
Women that pay for sex? It’s more common than you’d think. I’ve never had a woman directly give me cash, but they have paid for expensive dinners and trips, bought me stuff, etc. All this for my company and sex. These women were older (late 30′s/early 40′s) and usually well off either from a divorce or married to a rich husband that couldn’t satisfy her needs.
“With men that can afford to pay for hot young pussy on demand because that’s what they want, they’ll never truly experience the beauty of a woman’s true affection…it’s sad.”
“Love” does not exist. There is only hypergamy.
For a lucky few, it is a beautiful – and admittedly egotistical – thing to rock the world of a hot, young escort and give her the best sex she ever had. That becomes addicting.
I can’t help but shake my head at this article. This is nothing more than some Pick up artist trying to sell “game” AKA putting on a show to bed women. I’m sorry but I honestly have more respect for someone who pays for it rather than someone who changes everything about them just to seduce women. I notice how no one has a negative thing to say about women paying for sex yet have a novel of negativity about men doing so.
I disagree. It is a simple cost/benefit analysis that varies with the situation. For many reasons, you may choose escorts as the more convenient option to have the kind of sex you want. A broke younger man with lots of attractive, sexually adventurous cohorts at college is in a different position than an older man with money but little free time and few attractive, available contacts.