Play the Game, Don’t Change the Rules
As we lie next to each other, sweaty, exhausted, and satisfied, she turns to me with the smile indicating of a job-well-done and says:
“You know, I knew I wanted to sleep together within five minutes of meeting you.”
Immediately my thoughts turned back to my initial approach, our playful banter, my smooth one-liners, heavy making-out, and the overall impeccable game I ran on her that night.
My ego wanted me to think I was the only party involved. As if I whisked into the brightly lit venue, a tornado of style, cologne and smoothness, slid up to this tall, sexy brunette, and delivered the most epic performance of my lifetime, resulting in a same-night-lay.
My ego was wrong.
I responded to her with something like this: “If you knew you wanted to sleep with me right away, why not just say so? We could have been back here an hour ago…”
Without skipping a beat, she shot back: “You know, I enjoy the game too…”
Although this may not serve as mind-blowing evidence towards a woman’s desire to be courted, complimented and eventually coddled, it brought up an interesting point.
Just play the game, don’t try and change the rules.
I may have wanted her to be direct with me. She may have wanted to be. But society has told her it’s wrong to sleep with a guy who’s not your boyfriend, fiancé, or husband. In her eyes, going home with a guy after five minutes may seem slutty, trashy, or desperate. She may have needed to get more comfortable with me, have another drink or two, or get to know me a little better. Who knows? More importantly, why try and change that? Whatever I did worked.
The point is, if you expect every situation with every girl you meet to go exactly how you want it to go, you’ll be setting yourself up for major disappointment.
Stop worrying about getting what you want from women right away, creating the perfect situation, or waiting for the ideal scenario on which to act. Just find out what she wants, and be man enough to give it to her.
Who would have thought that fives minutes after this North Philadelphia native and I rocked each other’s worlds, she would have provided me with a solid game tip?
This was especially interesting, because I’ve had friends say to me before- “Why don’t girls just approach us? If they want to be talked to, they should just come up and say something.”
Maybe that might make things easier in some situations, but my response is always the same.
“Are you looking to change the way things are done, or do you want hot women in your life?”
There’s a set structure to follow, and certain things girls will respond to.
The rules are already set. Just play the game.
Rewind to a few hours before. I approached her group of friends, interrupted girls’ night, pulled her to the side, and told her I had to meet her. I could have waited until she was alone, waited until she hit the bathroom, waited for my ideal scenario to approach. But what I did has worked in my favor before. Why change the rules now?
And yes, she could have told me to take her home within five minutes. To toss myself a pickup-related softball, would that have made things easier? Faster? More convenient? Sure. But what she did has worked in her favor before. Why change the rules now?
Opportunity won’t wait for you to change the rules, to create your own structure, or to manipulate what is already given. Thinking on a broader scale, maybe your dream is to work for X Company, and you run into X Company’s CEO on the street one day (unlikely, but bear with me). Don’t be that guy who fails to take action because he wants to change the rules first i.e. “if I were dressed better, had my resume with me, or shaved this morning I would definitely go talk to him…”
If you see a girl you want to talk to, in what seems like an impossible-to-approach situation, do it anyway. Trying to change the rules will downplay your confidence, destroy your creativity, and dampen your boldness.
If I had tried to change the rules that night, I would have missed out on a fun night, and a great experience. Eventually patterns will emerge, things will get a little easier, and sooner or later when you think you want to change the rules again, you won’t.
It’s just too much fun to play the game.
Guest Post by regular reader, Adam W., 25 years-old from Delaware.