Memories Of An Ex-Girlfriend
While organizing the inbox folder of my Gmail account yesterday, I stumbled upon an email that was marked unread and nearly a year old. The email contained an attached photo, so I clicked it to see what it was about.
The attached photo from the email was of a dirty blonde hair girl smiling naughtily at the camera. She was semi-nude, with tribal tattoos featured on the right-side of her torso, over her creamy white skin.
I had all but forgotten about this girl, but this girl was hard to forget…
Her name was Elizabeth, but I affectionately called her “Sunshine”, and that photo was among dozens of other photos she had sexted me when I knew her.
Although we only spent a few months together, Sunshine was unlike any girl I’d been involved with.
Whether I liked it or not, seeing that photo instantly brought back the memories of an ex girlfriend.
We originally met in Times Square, where she was waiting outside for entry to see ‘The Lion King’ on Broadway. It was her high school senior class trip and it was actually her friend (I forget her name now) that whistled and waved at me to come over from across the street. I casually walked over, wondering what this was about. The friend told me I was “hot” and wanted to “feel me up”. Although she was acting weird, she admitted that she was on E. Not wanting to entertain a girl on E, I shifted my attention to the giggling tall girl standing next to her.
“Excuse my friend”, she said.
We made small-talk, exchanged pleasantries, and ended up exchanging phones numbers and Facebook information.
The next morning, I received a text message that read, “Good morning!”. The reason I called this girl Sunshine is because she would text me each and every morning. I would wake up to the sight of her name across my phone screen…and I liked it.
I’m not sure why Sunshine took such a liking to me, but her infatuation with me was endearing. Anyways, she was hot too, so I didn’t mind.
Sunshine lived near Philadelphia, so this was something of a long-distance relationship.
nearly a 3 hour drive!
We spent a couple of months texting and talking on the phone til we actually met again. Here’s what I learned about Sunshine in the meanwhile-
She was 18 years-old, bisexual, and worked some weekends as a go-go dancer for a nightclub in Atlantic City. She had done some modeling gigs and was hoping to get picked up for a reality show on MTV (not Jersey Shore). And as a high school graduation gift, her parents paid for her breast implants.
Yes, she really was unlike any other girl I’d been involved with.
When we finally met again, she came to spend the weekend with me in NYC. The following week, I went to Philly to spend the weekend with her. We alternated each week making the trip to see each other.
I considered Sunshine to be somewhat of a nympho. She LOVED sex, and almost half the space in her purse was filled with some sort of sex paraphernalia from Adam and Eve.
Our weekends together seemed like marathon sex sessions and aside from this wild side of hers that was unleashed around me, I also experienced Sunshine’s kind and loving personality. As much as I enjoyed slapping her around with my cock, I also enjoyed just laying in bed with her and watching Netflix.
Even though we had fun together, I never thought about a more serious relationship with Sunshine. She had many qualities I respected and admired (such as being mature, ambitious, and affectionate); but she had just as many flaws too (such as being emotionally unstable, mean-spirited to people she didn’t know, and extremely jealous). I liked her, but beyond the lust there was nothing I loved about her.
Also, the drive to Philly was something I stopped getting excited about; and soon I flaked out on even going. Although we never discussed our relationship in a formal manner, I knew this upset her.
All of a sudden, she stopped sending me the “Good morning!” texts that I was accustomed to each and every day. The 3 hour drive was a physical distance that separated us, and her growing silence would become an emotional one.
I never bothered to re-engage her.
It wasn’t until I saw that attached photo yesterday where I even questioned- what if?
What if I would’ve keep that relationship going? What if I should’ve been more committed to the relationship? What if we could’ve been more together?
Sunshine never gave me an ultimatum or forced me into any decision regarding the relationship…but what if she had?
It’s been close to a year since Sunshine and I last spoke. Besides the photos, the only thing I have left is memories of an ex-girlfriend.
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I think you played your cards right… if you noticed she was emotionally unstable, unkind to strangers, and super jelous… then an actual RELATIONSHIP would probably have turned out unfulfilling or straight up frustrating
Curious to know if she ever realized her MTV/reality show dreams.
She was selected for a concept show, but the show never made it into production. I know she’s moving out to LA soon, so things might change for her…
The only thing I would say is this:
You currently probably have no plans to contact her.
She has no plans to contact you.
Which menas logically in its current action state, you will never see/speak to each other again.
This means that if you chose to, you would loose nothing if you pinged her a reply to that email “I just found this” what ever you like. Even if she doesn’t respond, you are in the same situation that you were before you sent the message.
Contacting her is not a win/win, but it certainly is a win/Can’t loose situation.
(If are brave enough to do it bro, send me an email and let me know what happens! I am very curious to know)
Might have been a pain in the ass, relationship-wise.
I’ve tried a LDLTR that was same state, only two hours and that was gay enough.
Plus, the jealousy would have gotten worse, not better. You know how those truly hot chicks get.
You made the right move, but can’t say I blame you for the wistful thoughts. They happen from time to time, it’s the price to pay for being fully aware.
Hahaha!
Your posts are awesome,
BUT Son! Let me redesign your site!!!
This current design doesn’t do justice man.
Yo I’ll even do it for the love man. (Photoshop, Illustrator etc, yeah my team got that!…)
Feel free to get a me on webaccesmic[at]gmail[dot]com
Peace. Chalo!
I prefer to keep a clean, minimalistic layout.
You can send me your thoughts on redesigning the site tho. Email me~ jt [at] getgirlsnotgame [dot com]
I hope my comment is welcome here as a woman. (smile)
I love your story about Sunshine I think it is sweet, and how you feel or felt about her is powerful. She truly touched your heart. I am thinking that your ego probably got in the way of her insecurities and you are the one who needed to be more patient with her about them. If you had of, I am sure you and her could have worked through them. When a woman is jealous, she often has feelings for you that are so strong that she hasn’t managed yet…. I assume she just needed more time to get used to you and her feelings of jealousy were probably for good reason.. Just saying! I would email her if I were you.. And see if there is any magic left? From that magic can come some wonderful things if you allow them. – H
Nearly 40% of my readership is female, so your thoughts are most definitely welcomed.
From strangers to lovers back to strangers…I haven’t considered getting in touch with Sunshine because she seems to have moved and so have I.
The memories are special, but my feelings for her aren’t anymore.
Fantastic article. I find the greatest turning points and crossroads of my life all involve girls. What if I had chosen that one over the other… what if I had pursued it after we met travelling?
Interesting things to think about. Get back in touch with her. We’re all backing you!!!
The greatest misconception people have about players or guys who get girls is that they don’t have feelings for the women they interact with. This couldn’t be farther from the truth. Inevitably you will end up hooking up with a real gem that will make you question your participation in the game. It may not convince you to settle down but it will certainly shake you up. Those photos and memories are bittersweet but they only strengthen my love of women and the game. They keep me on the hunt for that next gem.
Exactly. To not have feeling (the image of this cold-hearted player) is to almost not be human. It’s how men react to their emotions that will define them.
Good stuff.